Tuesday, January 12, 2010

rules to live by

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

I was just accosted by the strangest man on the light rail. He was wearing a suit and had a booger hanging out of his right nostril. He was touchy-feely and creepily flirty. He was over-confident and told contradicting stories with BIG holes.

I have spent the last year riding the light rail multiple times a week at various times of the day. Needless to say I have come across more than my fair share of homeless, insane, or just plain awkward individuals. This man, was by far both the smelliest and most persistent.

I am polite, but not dumb. I smiled my toothy grin at his lame jokes and pretended to seem impressed when he bragged about owning two businesses, being a bio-chemical engineer, and a returning student (uh-huh).

He thought he had me hooked. He thought I was going to give him my "digits" as he called it. But at the last second I whipped out the best line I could think of.

I'm sorry, I don't give my number to boys I meet on the light rail.

(This is always true, with exception to super cute boys who are not creepy.)

So he gave me his "digits" and his name with the hope that I would be friend requesting him on Facebook. Psh.

Upon exiting the train I gave myself kudos for getting out of a weird-o situation without seeming rude or lying (too much) despite the overwhelming stench of body odor and distraction of the booger.

I hope you are respecting personal boundaries.

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