Tuesday, January 26, 2010

love your loved ones

Hello my name is Aimee and this is an (unpleasant) real life adventure...

Last week I was hanging out with the beloved PDF when he received a phone call. I can't remember who called him, but one of his neighbors with whom he spent a majority of his childhood was brain dead in the hospital on life support. Apparently she had taken a bottle of pills earlier that day in an attempt to commit suicide. The family decided to discontinue the use of life support.

There would be no funeral, but a celebration of her life the following Saturday at her home next door to the Nelson (PDF's) household. I was asked to attend with the family. I decided to do the most classy Audrey Hepburn-ish thing possible. I pulled my hair back, applied waterproof mascara, dressed in black, and put a handkerchief in my handbag. Before leaving my Aunt Lani warned me not to try and make any jokes, suggest any games, or tell any stories (see birthday ruiner). "As a matter of fact, just loop your arm through his and keep your lips shut" she advised me. Good advice.

The day was a chilly, overcast one like today. I was running late (like always) and the memorial service had already started once PDF, his brother, and I walked next door. Eyes followed the three of us as we made our way across the living room to where the rest of the family had assembled. The remaining part of the service we were in attendance for was surely the most heart wrenching. The surviving brother spoke first barely choking out words to describe their childhood memories and the sudden void in his life. Her mother spoke and wondered aloud if she had been home if her daughter would have made the decision to take her own life. Her grandmother spoke about a memory from a few years before involving her grandfather. Her sister-in-law spoke about her zest for life and love of others. Lastly, her friends filled the room with her hobbies, traits, and memories.

Although I didn't know the family or the victim of her own selfish action I couldn't help but recall attending funeral services for those I did. It reminded me exactly how fragile life can be and that each day should be lived to the fullest rather than wasting it on resentment, anger, or fear. In futile attempts to avoid small talk I let my mind wander to the things I would do today if I were to die tomorrow.

1.Tell my loved ones they were loved
2. Skydive
3. Call my Dad

My list was quickly interrupted when the strong boy I was clutching on to began to tear up. My heart sank and I silently wished to never have be in this situation again.

I hope you live each day to the fullest.

1 comment:

Amyann Freberg said...

Wow, thank you for sharing, I know these situations can be really difficult, especially when you do not know the person at all. It seems you did a very good job of being a supportive girlfriend.

I know you said you wished that you never had to be in such a situation before, but I hope you consider that attending a funeral or life celebration is a healthy, yet forever difficult, way for loved ones to say goodbye. Your being available to your boyfriend was quite heroic!