Day 6

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

My arms are sore and my legs shake when I walk. Today's workout was successful, but I haven't been taking my exercising/eating healthier plan seriously. The last week has been spent recovering from my intense swim workout and consuming fatty foods. Today I am getting serious. I am so excited that PDF not only supports my workout plan, but actually accompanies me to the YMCA on Mondays and Wednesdays. Yay!

Exercise

I spent a half hour on the treadmill today as well as 20 minutes or so on a mat working my abs and stretching out.

5:27- I am running at 6 mph. Some morning show is on and the host has the tiniest legs I have ever seen. They are twigs. Literally. I can feel mine giggling and shaking with every step. I hate her.

5:29- (Still running at 6 mph) PDF notices my disgust for the TV Show host and comments on her legs. They are gross and too skinny he says. I love him.

10:00- I have reduced my speed to 5.5 mph for fear of a heart attack. I am completely drenched in sweat and i can hear my heart pulsing in my ears.

12:00- (Still running at 5.5 mph) I now know why everyone brings their Ipod to the gym. It's so you can tune out the sound of your own panting.

17:00- (Barely running at 5.5 mph) These stupid gym shorts keep riding up. I have found a rhythm of pull my shorts out of my butt, take three steps, and do it again.

25:00- I have reduced my speed yet again to 5.0 mph. I am starting to see black spots.

27:00- People walking by are staring. I think my face must be beat red, or I look like I'm about to pass out or something.

30:00 (Chugging along at 5.0 mph) The machine tricked me! I ran, panted, and sweat for a half hour and now it added 5 minutes for a "cool down". This is absurd. I want to speak to a manager.

31:00- The machine automatically reduced the speed to 4.5 mph. I guess this isn't so bad.

32:00- Down to 4.0 mph. I am performing a quick paced walk/awkward jog maneuver.

33:00- 3.5 mph. I am starting to hear other noises besides my heart. I think the gentlemen next to me just uttered something in my direction, but I cannot make it out.

34:00- 3.0 mph. I am comfortably walking. I can see how a cool down is effective...

35:00- 2.5 mph. PDF has come to save me from this wretched machine. Thank God.

Diet
Breakfast- I was at the gym
Lunch- Although it had Parmesan cheese, dressing, and croutons I had a chicken Caesar salad for lunch with a pita. It was delicious and healthier than the gyro I watched my counterpart eat.
Dinner- Sushi at Ra! I had a Tootsy Maki roll and half of a Viva Las Vegas roll. Yum!
Late Night Snack- Two oatmeal stouts from 4 Peaks Brewery and a 100 Grand candy bar.

Okay, so it's not great but it's better than McDonald's!

I hope you are achieving your goals.

spring break shape

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

After weighing in last year at 10lbs OVER my ideal weight when Spring Break rolled around I've decided to get into shape before embarrassing myself in a bikini. I do not like the idea of crash dieting (although I did manage to lose over 10lbs in 10 days after having my tonsils removed) so I am setting out on my weight loss/toning adventure on a healthy note. This means I will achieve (let's keep our fingers crossed) my goal weight through means of exercise and healthy eating. Here goes....

Day 1

Exercise:

Went to the Downtown YMCA and had 45 minutes before class to get my heart rate above 90 beats per minute. I ended up swimming 1650 meters (about a mile). I attempted this (partially) through swimming 15 x 50m on a minute. For those of you who do not speak swim coach (don't feel bad, I just learned this past summer) that means you swim 50 meters (at the Y it's down and back) in a minute or less fifteen times in a row, or in 15 minutes. I went something like this:

1x50- Oooh... this water is chilly (this becomes apparent to the entire pool).
2x50- Warmin' up, and it feels good.
3x50- Wow! I'm making it down and back in 50 seconds this is going to be easier than I thought!
4x50- Too much warmin' up.... I think I just pulled something.
5x50- Mister Man just asked to share my lane. Of course! I say, after all I am a good sharer.
6x50- Whew! Was that four or five?
7x50- Not as fast as I thought.... gettin' kinda tired. Mister Man is literally a Swim Master. His goggles are shiny, his speedo is tiny. He makes me look dumb.
8x50- NEED AIR, I can't breathe due to my hair falling out of it's pony tail.
9x50- My thighs have turned to jello and cannot kick...I am sinking. Swim Master has moved lanes, perhaps he did not appreciate my slower pace.
10x50- Pretty sure the lifeguard almost jumped in after me.
11x50- Forget the minute mark, I'll be lucky if I make it down and back in 2 minutes.
12x50- Pain is pulsating through my body, my ears are buzzing, I am blinded by my bangs. Swim Master is making waves in the water with his speed. This makes me motion sick.
13x50- Doggy paddling counts as a stroke, right?
14x50- One more, concentrate Aimee.
15x50- Is that my bobby pin floating on the bottom of the pool?!

Diet:
Breakfast- 2 pieces of toast slathered with butter and jam on one and butter and cinammon sugar on the other. 1 cup of coffee with three cremes and two sugars.
Lunch- I was in the freakin' pool.
Mid-Afternoon Snack- Hot'n'Spicy Chicken sandwich from McDonald's w/o mayo and added Mac Sauce and some of my sister's french fries.
Dinner- A barrage of Golden State, Spicy Tuna, and California rolls from Sushi 101, along with some edamame. Water to drink.
Late-Night Snack- Medium Reese's Blizzard from Dairy Queen.

Okay, so I don't have the diet thing down but at least I hit the gym. And drank mostly water. I'm sure I'll get the hang of it soon.

I hope your will power is stronger than mine.

unworthy

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

There I was feeling down on myself for royally screwing up my life when my close friends assured me that having less responsibility is for the best. I would have more time to focus on academia, I could enjoy my final semester at ASU, and I would be less stressed. Although I wasn't happy, things were sounding better. At least I had the support of my friends, family, and the cute boy I'm dating (PDF). I was getting a hold of the silver lining in my little rainstorm when a hurricane came and rocked my world.

As fate would have it, I am being asked to step down from my position as President because there are an abundance of other students who are looking to get involved. Additionally, I have lost my research project because there are other students who can work more effectively on a time line. Turns out "other students" is just a code word for my Potential Dating Future. That's right folks, the boy I am dating has inadvertently stolen my presidency, my research project, and my heart.

The worst part is that he isn't doing any of these things intentionally. He didn't plot to have me removed as President or menacingly steal my project. He was just himself. Intelligent, passionate, committed, honorable, and trustworthy among a million other things (No wonder I am dating him, he's a catch!). It's just hard to know that the person who is better than you is your secret-keeper and partner in crime, the one holding your hand.

With my confidence shattered and my morale completely missing I can hardly stomach being in his presence much less attempting to converse with him. All I can think about is how I am not good enough, how I directly do not measure up to him.

Have you ever walked into a party with your potluck dish of macaroni salad in your lucky tube socks all ready to win the potato sack race only to realize it's a cocktail party? It kinda feels like that.

On our way downtown this morning it was all I could do to fight back tears as feelings of inferiority and sheer stupidity washed over me. It was then I began to notice how mismatched we are. There I was waiting for the train with smudged glasses, bad breath (despite brushing my teeth 3 times), sticky-out hair, and a baggy hoody (a result of being up for a portion of the night vomiting my guts out with food poisoning) holding the hand of a boy who had undoubtedly showered and was dressed in casual business attire looking flawless. On the train he was reading Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking which Wikipedia says "popularizes research from psychology and behavioral economics on the adaptive unconscious"(what the heck does that mean, anyway?) while I was struggling to sit up straight. Checking out at Circle K I grabbed a water and strawberry-kiwi Gatorade while he purchased a USA Today and a black coffee. He talked about the hurricane in Haiti and the importance of the assistance from the American government, I have difficulty pronouncing the word Haiti correctly.

I can't tell if my thought process is at all being altered by my tendency to become irrational after little to no sleep and low blood sugar. Most likely. I wonder if the feeling of inadequacy will dispel or if I will continually harbor my inferiority of the ironic situation at hand ultimately resulting in resentment and anger ruining any relationship we may have cultivated.

I do know that I will not be able to help foster a healthy relationship if I constantly feel less sophisticated, mature, and put-together along with seeming totally incompetent. It would be like dating Audrey Hepburn.

I think I need lunch.

I hope the nausea dissipates soon.

walking disaster

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

Incompetent. Disappointment. Failure.

This is what I've become.

Somewhere between overachieving junior year and now I lost my grip on my grades, my level of involvement, my love life, and my sanity. Piecing me back together is going to be harder than I thought.

One of my advisors for the PRSA sent me several emails over the course of the semester last fall. It demonstrated his concern for my ability to lead the student group and in the last email I received I was asked to step down from my position as President of the club.

The boy I was seeing broke up with me via text message because he was unable to commit the time to a relationship. Also, I deserved someone better than him. Things would be different IF... and he goes on to list several things that are irrelevant and unimportant.

This morning I received an email from one of my professors informing me that we would no longer be working on our research project together. I was unable to meet a deadline which has resulted in the loss of my undergraduate research opportunity with one of the greatest educators I will ever know.

As I try to grasp what are now the shambles of my life I can't help but wonder how the hell this all happened. I'm sure senioritis had a hand in it. Taking 17 credit hours, working 2 jobs, serving on the executive board of 2 organizations and completing a research project just didn't mix in well with dating someone full time and being a Greek socialite.

I am a firm believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason, however this time I feel like a lack of effort on my part has resulted in an undesirable position. I have to own up to the fact that I was unproductive and ineffective. Not only am I disappointed that I have lost my research project and will have to step down as President, I am disheartened that I was dating someone that deemed it appropriate to end our relationship via text message. I should have more self respect than that.

I'm not quite ready to move on and discuss how much stress has been lifted from my shoulders. Or how much time I will have to focus on my studies or pick up a new hobby. Or that I will be able to enjoy my last semester at ASU worry free.

Instead I will discern what can be salvaged and stare at the remains in shock.

I hope your day is better than mine.

rules to live by

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

I was just accosted by the strangest man on the light rail. He was wearing a suit and had a booger hanging out of his right nostril. He was touchy-feely and creepily flirty. He was over-confident and told contradicting stories with BIG holes.

I have spent the last year riding the light rail multiple times a week at various times of the day. Needless to say I have come across more than my fair share of homeless, insane, or just plain awkward individuals. This man, was by far both the smelliest and most persistent.

I am polite, but not dumb. I smiled my toothy grin at his lame jokes and pretended to seem impressed when he bragged about owning two businesses, being a bio-chemical engineer, and a returning student (uh-huh).

He thought he had me hooked. He thought I was going to give him my "digits" as he called it. But at the last second I whipped out the best line I could think of.

I'm sorry, I don't give my number to boys I meet on the light rail.

(This is always true, with exception to super cute boys who are not creepy.)

So he gave me his "digits" and his name with the hope that I would be friend requesting him on Facebook. Psh.

Upon exiting the train I gave myself kudos for getting out of a weird-o situation without seeming rude or lying (too much) despite the overwhelming stench of body odor and distraction of the booger.

I hope you are respecting personal boundaries.

the birthday ruiner

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

Since the beginning I have ALWAYS been a perfectionist. ALWAYS. If everything isn't just right my heart races, my stomach churns, and my right eye twitches. I think it has something to do with my obsessive-compulsive, controlling personality. Whatever. As a result I usually strive for over-the-top all the time. Especially for birthdays.

I have been dating my prospective dating future (PDF) for about five unofficial weeks. So it's looking pretty good. Last Friday was his birthday. I wanted to make it REALLY special so he will keep liking me. I worked really hard on designing a crossword puzzle and with the help of this sweet site I was able to make a custom crossword. (PDF and I like to do crossword puzzles together, so I thought it would be awesome if I made a puzzle about him and I.) I also spent an entire afternoon writing a really nice letter in my best cursive handwriting and doodling stars all over. I even found the book he REALLY wanted at Barnes and Noble and wrapped it pretty with a big bow for him.

*It was perfect*

But then disaster struck at dinner...

I couldn't be happy with just the *perfect* present. I curled my hair fancy and wore my favorite black cotton dress from Banana Republic. Bee's black beaded flats and Momma's black shawl made the outfit perfect. At dinner we laughed, gushed over the good food, and cheered "Happy Birthday". Everything was going great. That's when the idea popped in my head. The idea that I THOUGHT would turn out wonderfully that ended blowing up in my face. In an effort to seem charming and funny and thoughtful I suggested that each person at the table share a favorite memory of PDF. Everyone thought this was a good idea and PDF's Mom went first.

The way I saw this playing out in my head was that each person would share a funny and possibly embarrassing story (not pooped your pants embarrassing, but fell down the stairs embarrassing) and everyone would laugh. But his Mom started telling the table about the very last time PDF addressed his group in drum core (yes, PDF is a band geek- one of the many qualities I am attracted to). It was so intense that she started to cry at the table.

AND THEN HE STARTED TEARING UP TOO.

This is one of those "all downhill from here" stories. Right after that his Dad talked about the very last inning he ever coached his little league team and how proud he was. His Dad started to get bleary-eyed. In an instant we had gone from a cheery, excited setting to crying over a few coming of age tales. PDF's BFF looked across the table at me like I was a complete moron for making the parents, grandma, and the birthday boy cry. Thankfully he pulled out a hilarious story (one I was hoping everyone would share) and salvaged part of the evening.

I was last to go, and instead of being able to tell the cute story I had rehearsed in my head I was so nervous I ended up stammering something about eating my burned food. LAME. In an effort to to be cute and fun I only portrayed myself as a weird-o, birthday ruiner.

Needless to say I've been nauseated ever since.

I hope you are better at impressing possible future in-laws.

so embarrassed

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

So today I am hanging out in the StAR office in UCENT on the 6th floor. One of the things I am doing is drinking Earl Grey tea like it's nobody's business (like always). Of course one thing leads to another and the next thing you know I have to pee. As I was in the fifth stall maneuvering about attempting to get my jeans down in a potty dance fashion (my bladder is literally the size of a pea) I heard a "DING" pierce the silence of the bathroom. After relieving myself and upon further inspection I found that the culprit of the "DING" was indeed the button to my jeans! I retrieved the button and tried to put it back on, but alas it was truly broken.

Are my jeans trying to tell me something?

Anyway...

Here is the button, not on my jeans but chillin with my Dutch Bros. Coffee mug on my desk :(

I am not wearing one of those big lunch shirts, you know the ones that discreetly hide the stomach/waistband area of the body in case of ingesting a large lunch or bloating. No today I am braving a tight white tank top beneath a large black shawl. This does not cover the waistband area, in fact it almost accentuates it. Attempting to get away with having my jeans unbuttoned and fly down (it keeps falling due to lack of a button) is completely out of the question. I'm either gonna have to McGyver my pants back together, or sit in the office until everyone leaves so I can go home with some dignity in tact.

The other bad part of this is that these jeans are really Bee's and not exactly mine. Hopefully she doesn't read this before I fix them. I'm really sorry if you do.

I think I saw a safety pin in my bag earlier....

I hope you're enjoying the button on your pants.