Tuesday, October 27, 2009

i wish you fit in my pocket

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

6:20 am: I can smell you on my pillow, but when I reach across the bed to find you you are not there. I felt the warmth of you next to me and heard the in and out of your steady breath but I know it is just a dream when my alarm pierces the air. I am alone and it is still dark outside. Of course you aren't here: it's Tuesday morning.

7:27 am: By some act of God, I have made it to class on time.

7:45 am: My lips are chapped, my throat is throbbing, and my feet feel like ice cubes against my legs through my jeans. A cold front is making its way to Phoenix, something I could feel walking from building to building making my way to the light rail. I am being warmed by the computer lab in which my 7:30 am statistics lab takes place. My feet are still cold. I wish you were here to hold my hand.

8:50 am: Campus is more alive now than it was an hour ago, this is evidenced by students and faculty bustling by in newly dusted off and aired out sweatshirts/jackets/coats. I'm headed to Starbucks to use the last of my gift card until after Christmas. I silently note to myself that I need to inform Santa that I much prefer Fair Trade Cafe. The coffee shop is busy but I don't mind, I hum along to a background melody I have never heard but I immediately like because it sounds like winter and reminds me of Christmas. After scanning the pastry counter I decide on a croissant and order it with an Earl Grey tea. The atmosphere around me is exciting and cheery. Winter makes me happy. I am glad it is finally arriving.

9:15 am: I have decided that there are people who must like hard crusty croissants. Why would Starbucks make or serve them if everyone liked soft ones?

9:27 am: I've just been caught doodling by Dr. Barry and I am now explaining to the class something about my survey. I cannot recall the question so I will continue to babble until she seems satisfied.

9:35 am: My mind is wandering again. I cannot seem to make myself focus for more than a minute. Concentration comes slow when I can feel my classmates questioning eyes on my face. Instead I dream about far away things. I imagine it is Christmas time and it is snowing outside. Twinkle lights are everywhere and nothing but pure love and joy overwhelms me. We ice skate in the park and marvel at the Christmas decorations found all over the city. I wonder if Dr. Barry would consider playing Jewel's version of Silent Night quietly in the background during class for the remainder of the semester.

10:15 am: Relief washes over me. We have been dismissed for another week.

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