i want to hold your hand

Hello my name is Aimee and this is a real life adventure...

As I write this my little sister is four buildings down across Orange Street meeting her advisor for the first time. Haleigh is being cleared to register for classes at ASU for her freshman year. A million thoughts race through my mind as this is happening. For one I am taken back to my freshman year advising appointment, where I felt inadequate for not yet knowing what my major would be. I felt left out for being the only freshman in my orientation room not moving on campus, instead I stayed home to help my little sisters (I have three) adjust to our parents' divorce. I think of how different my ASU experience would have been had I lived on campus. All I can do is thank God and all other higher powers that my parents finalized their divorce in early August of 2005. Had it not been for that act of fate I would've moved on campus, made completely different friends, and maybe never have found the parks and recreation program.

As I am counting my blessings, I am also living vicariously (and shamelessly) through my little sister. My parents never moved me onto campus when I finally made the transition. I didn't have anyone on campus to help me figure out which buildings my classes belonged in and I certainly had no one to guide me on my journey through the Greek system. I know for this I am stronger, but like parents and their offspring I want better for Haleigh. This is why I have done everything I can to help her get paperwork in to move onto campus, register for classes, and of course rush a sorority. I can't wait for her to go to all the football games, find the major that is right for her, and have her "ASU moment".

While extremely excited for Haleigh's life changing transition, I am also nervous and a little sad. Our entire lives I have paved the way for my little sister making sure everything is safe before allowing her to try it. I have managed to do this for possibly the last time in convincing her to spend the next four years of her life at Arizona State. As the summer treks on, I realize that while I'll only be a half mile away on the other side of campus I will not be able to be alongside her for every decision she will have to make. I will not be able to hold her hand on the way to class and drop her off (which I have done all through elementary, junior high, and some days in high school). My baby sister is growing into a breath taking young woman before my eyes and I am going to have to start letting her go to live her own journey.

There is an upside to this seemingly sad, empty nest story. For the next two years (I am hoping to get into the grad program) Haleigh and I will be on the same campus; grocery shopping, meeting for coffee, and late night studying together will become a staple item in my life. I cannot wait to share the Greek life experience with her (as of now I have convinced her to rush!) and show her all of my favorite nook and cranny spaces on campus.

It's ironic that this coming of age tale for one girl is also the same story for another. Letting her go her own way will allow me to grow into mine. I couldn't be more excited and queasy for freshman move-in this year. And if she wants me to, I will hold her hand.